You and Your Love Interest Have Common Strands

(Lots of Sweet & Clean Romance In Store for You)

"Hello, world!"

1.

You hear there’s a room at a castle to be had for a song and, as it happens, a song’s about all you have since you’re, eh, between jobs, so to speak—and between houses, too. You’re a woman who maybe doesn’t play well with others, so your roommates (make that ex-roommates) telling you to “change or else” finds you on a park bench in the dead of winter filling in the blank. 

2.

You need to warm up, so you find a path to walk briskly. A billboard at the far side of the park catches your eye, and you stare it down. There’s a goofy guy with a skinny tie beneath a large headline that reads: The King’s Got Your Keys to the Castle. You think, Tell me your name’s not—but you stop mid-thought when you read his last name: King.

3.

After a hard eye-roll, you move along the path leading deeper into the woods, and your curiosity heightens as you spot an increasing number of arrow-shaped signs, which lead to a tall, broad, and well-dressed man handing out roses in front of a towering structure. You approach incredulously, and he introduces himself to you as “Jeremy King.” And you think, Only thing worse than a romantic is a romantic holding a rose; yet you say, "Queen Lorna," and grin as you take the rose he extends to you.

4.

Something about watching King's people-pleasing spiel makes you doubt that he is a hopeless romantic. Hopeless romantics are somehow different. Like romance books, you think. And what do all romance books have in common? A book cover, but are all romance books the same? You know that romance books are no more the same than romantics. And in this case game recognizes game. It’s as if, You know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you, you think. Cozying up to the castle-condo King will go better for you if you think of him as the mark that you need him to be—not as your perfect match with a lovely head of hair.

5.

After the tour, you make a beeline for the King. “So is there a,” you narrowly miss his face as you gesture wildly, “a try-before-you-buy option for one of these colossal castle-condos?” His laugh is soft and not unkind, his smile reaches his deep-set eyes, and he leads you down the hall to the model condo, directing you to, “Make yourself at home.” And you think, You just watch how fast I can do that, King.